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does the idea of speaking to a person really you’re attracted to, freak you out?
or are you the student who sits at the back of the class and rarely speaks up?

we all know that shyness can be a barrier to meeting that special someone, advancing in your career…generally, dampering (vanae-ism word) in your effective communication.

simply put, there’s two types of people:
1) those who have overcome shyness
2) those who have not

all barriers have a root and these barriers are what’s preventing you from where you want to be. to kick shyness to the curb, you must start by tackling the root of why you’re shy. this way, you are aware and work from the inside to outwards. let’s shift your thinking and behavior of shyness with these tips:

1. dig deep! understand why and when you became shy
what is your fear of speaking up?
- is it a fear of being judged? punished? rejected?
was it a specific event in your past? was it your childhood?
replay that moment or feeling. understand what emotion made you revert inwards.

2. address that root, that fear
tell yourself that moment does not exist anymore, you’re living in the present and you have the power/control of NOW and how you present yourself. today, you are making the consciously decision to be VISIBLE and HERE!

3. negative thoughts can hold us back
no one is better than you! you can’t stop negative thoughts from coming into your head, but you can let release them or transform those thoughts into positive. often times, other person is feeling the same exact way, so talk to people as if you were talking to one of your friends. it’s an even playing field.

4. join an interest group (www.meetup.com)
find a meet-up group that surrounds your interest and commit to going to an event this week! this is the perfect opportunity to practice meeting and talking to people, starting with a shared topic you care about. hey, if it’s motorcycles or cupcakes that you’re into, why not connect with someone who does to.

5. smile often!
you’ll notice that i smile a whole lot! when you smile, you create good energy and share it with people around you. not only does it makes you feel good, but it alludes confidence. you’ll come off as friendly and approachable, so smile and make it OPEN INVITATION TIME!

6. know your best qualities and present those
put your best foot forward when getting know someone you’re interested in. is your strong point- humor? then use humor as an icebreaker. are you good at making people feel comfortable? then talk to them as a friend. are you good at smiling? then smile a whole lot.

7. initiate
this may be the toughest part when getting out of your shell, but practice approaching people with small talk. people won’t know how wonderful you are unless they have the chance to talk to yah!

8. give genuine compliments and ask questions
don’t you love it when people compliment you? we all love compliments! flattery puts down people’s guards and opens the gate for you to make a connection. people like talking about themselves and love the feeling that people care about him/her. so ask questions to show that you’re sincere in getting to know him/her.

were these tips helpful? what else has helped you overcome shyness?