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By Jeffrey Walsh

“Married couples who love each other tell each other a thousand things without talking”. – Chinese Proverb

The blushing young bride is a surgeon who works the night shift at the local hospital. Her strikingly handsome groom is also a doctor and surgeon.at the same hospital. It is quite evident that they are deeply in love. The young professionals join hands as they enter the grand banquet hall together. Cue the music, start the cameras, light the fireworks and let the wedding festivities commence. As they cross the threshold, the bride looked quite elegant in her gorgeous chantilly lace strapless one-piece red wedding gown with a chiffon overlay and pearl beading on the fully-boned bodice with a lace up back and flowing train. Yes, you read that right- red wedding gown. Bright red. Welcome to your first Chinese wedding in Mainland China- where ancient Chinese customs and modern Western ways collide for endlessly fascinating results.

This is my fourth year working and living in Mainland China and my very first traditional Chinese wedding. The wedding reception was held at a ballroom attached to the “Overseas Chinese Hotel”- a fitting location since the young Chinese doctor spent a year of her medical training overseas in the United States. Actually, the bride began the wedding in a white wedding dress and later switched to a red wedding gown. When I think of red and white together with heart-shaped balloons…..the first thing that comes to mind is Valentine’s Day, not wedding bells and exchanging vows. Perhaps the young bride and groom have brought an additional skill set to bring to today’s ceremony: “Doctors of Love”. Maybe the lovey-dovey doctors are also skilled at matchmaking, melding and mending affairs of the heart….all with “surgical precision”, of course.

Bridal gown costume changes were just one of the many cultural differences I was to experience on this day of matrimonial bliss in the Middle Kingdom. It started to dawn on me that this displaced American and laowai (foreigner in China) was in over his head. For one, all of the guests dressed in a “relaxed casual” manner. Tuxedos, top hats and tails? Out of the question! As the only guest wearing a proper suit and conservative tie among 500 guests- I felt like a secret service agent who had showed up at a college frat party. It is quite possible that I was at the right wedding but the wrong room- one banquet hall was specifically for guests and one banquet hall was specifically for “V.I.P’s”. My tailor-made suit might have fit in a little better in the adjoining VIP room with all the other “suits”.

This wedding featured a red lace wedding dress and a red rubber arch. (Red rubber arch?) Interestingly enough – a rather large rubber inflatable red arch stood above the entrance of the wedding banquet hall. Perched midway on the left side of the red arch is a chicken. The imposing figure on the right side of the red arch is a dragon. At the apex is a symbol，the Chinese character and pictogram for “double happiness”. The chicken, dragon and double happiness symbol signify good luck and good health for the bride and groom and their families.

Prior to my arrival in the Middle Kingdom almost four years ago, the only arch I was familiar with was the towering steel structure on the banks of the Mississippi River in the United States (and no, I’m not counting the Golden Arches of McDonald’s). In the U.S., the St. Louis Arch is nicknamed “Gateway to the West” in remembrance of America’s westward territorial expansion of the 1800’s. While America has one solitary arch standing alone like a proud silver cowboy in the sunset, Mainland China features the ubiquitous arches adorning most every corner, doorway and building frame from Shanghai to Sichuan. In Mainland China the ever-present red arches could all very well be called the “Gateway to the East”. Today’s red arch is specially on display for matrimony. I guess the cheery red arch could be called the “Gateway to Eternal Happiness”.

Arches in the Western Hemisphere tend to be permanent and historical structures made of steel, granite or concrete. The Arc de Triomphe in Paris, the Wellington Arch in London and the Soldier’s and Sailors Arch in New York City are all towering tributes to fallen heroes on the battlefield – famous war memorials of Western civilization. But what about China’s red arches? Maybe China’s red ceremonial arches are meant to remind us of the old axiom: “Alls Fair in Love and War”- I hope not!

I wasn’t sure what to make of my surroundings at the Chinese banquet hall. I just hoped to act appropriately by doing the right thing at the right time. Of course, my limited ability to communicate in Chinese did not help matters. With my exaggerated gestures and fumbling efforts at communicating, I often looked like a mime or Charlie Chaplin in a Chinese vaudeville act. Though I can read quite a few Chinese characters on a Chinese menu, they still look like an undecipherable Chinese eye chart to me. I am pretty good with a pair of chopsticks however……

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